Pop Station Ultra 1337 Skeleton edition.

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Warning: I made this all in good fun and out of sheer boredom. This is not meant to offended anyone. It's soul purpose is to suck really bad on all levels, simulate really bad literature written by a 10 year old, and hopefully get a good laugh or two. I hope you enjoy.
Ok I used to love the Pop Station, BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!1! I will tell you why. So one day I was on eBay looking for a Pop Station, because I am l33t and you are not. I found one that was selling a lot of new Pop Stations. Each one came with 4 games. I was all like, "Oh boy, I found many Pop Stations and I am so happy! w00t w00t!" It was only $0.01 and was a buy it now! So I bought it and it got here in like 2 decades later. I was so happy when the male mail man put it into my mail box that I splooged my pants. I brought it into my room and unboxed it on camera and put it on YouBoob because I'm more l33t than everyone. But when I opened it I found out that it was only one Pop Station and I was very sad but happy because I had a Pop Station and I am to awesome to not have one. It was a little odd because It was an ultra rare 1337 Skeleton edition. I took it out of its box and it growled at me. So I puted it a cage to tame it so I could play games on it. When I finally taught it to roll over and turn on, I put in the first game, Football Champion. I then noticed that the guy on the cartridge screen thing was very sad and had Footballs for testicles. I quickly shrugged it of when I found out that I could get Double-[XP] if I bought 1,000,000,000,000 bags of Diritos and Mountain Dew. So I went to the store and bought all the Diritos and Mountain Dew I could find because I'm a tool. I came back and put the game into my Pop Station and started it up. It started as normal being loud and only had Blue and red colours because it was awesome. But then, one of the footballers stabbed another footballer and it let out an ultra-hyper-realistic scream that made me scream. I shat my pants and took out the game. I put in the next game called, Street Warrior. I put in the game and it started like Football Champion except it had blood on the screen. REEL BLUD!!! But I ignored it and said that it was a glitch. I was fighting against another guy who looked identical to me and we threw our arms at each other. But it was hard to see with all that blood on the screen. So I got mad and threw the game at my neighbor while he was mowing the lawn. But it missed him and instead hit a gas tank. The gas tank then imploded in to my anus and exploded. I was now really angry. I put in the next game called, Fire truck. I put it in to the Pop Station and it sucked. So I put in the last game called, Highly anticipated racing game. When I put it, I saw the most horrific thing I ever played. It said it had customization, but it was so little. It said It had a big map, but it was very small. It said that you needed skill to play it, but it was really just Battlefield with cars. It said it had a story, but it was almost non-existent. But the worst part was the high amount of endless drifting. SO MUCH DRIFTING!!!1! Not to mention the crashing. It felt like a Criterion Game. Then I noticed that the label on the cartridge screen thing was peeling of with blood dripping from it. It then showed the true evil that it was. It was Need For Speed Rivals. I nearly had a heart attack because it was 2scurry4me. I screamed at the top of lung, "CURSE YOU CRAIG SULLIVAN!!!" Then the unthinkable happened. Craig Sullivan jumped out of the Screen and stood in front of me in a military outfit. He said in a not deep, not demonic voice, "What is this? A person that does not like DRIFTING. You are evil and must be stopped". Then I was all like, "No U". A bunch of kids from my school were outside my window going, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH". They knew that Craig just got served. Then they left. Craig was not happy with this. He pointed at me and yelled, "Attack my minions". Then out of the blue, all kinds of 5 year olds came out of no where and started to rage at me. I fell to my kneed because I couldn't take all the hate. But I overcame my senses and ignored them. Craig was now very crossed. He yelled again, "If my modern Need for Speed fans won't destroy you, then my Speed Points will!" It started to rain SP all over the place and it burned the Pop Station to a burnt crisp. I was all liek, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!1!! MY ULTRA l33t POP STATION IS RUINED". I felt the inner squeaker inside me get angry. But then skeletons jumped out of no where and started to throw dildos at me. BLOOD SOAKED DILDOS!!! I started to ultra rage at the skeletons and then they fell to there knees and blew up. This made Craig so angry that he wrote to the daily telegraph about it. After he did that he started to drip blud from his eyes and red foam filled his mouth. Then Blast Processing took over his ever so smooth brain and he started to attack me with any random thing he could think of. He threw my favorite lamp in to my face. It hurt like hell as pieces of the lamp were stuck in my face. I was bleeding so much red blood that my bed started to float along with me and Craig. I jumped onto my bed and Craig started to fly around in my room. He started to speak in a high pitched squeaky voice and said, "IMPOSSIBRU! U should have been turned ded over there!" He started to go on a wild tangent, which gave me time to shoot him in the balls with my gun I just found lying around. Craig was starting to bleed. He then summoned a Cyberdemon into my room and told it to kill me. It shooted rokets everywhere. But I dodged them and shot the Cyberdemon in the face and he got sad and left. Then blood came falling from the celling and many 6's also fell from the celling. Craig then attacked me with evil Pop Stations covered in bones. They flew around me and spawned hundreds of evil patricks everywhere, but he wanted to make sure that I was ded, so he summoned many Bugatti Veyrons to kill me. All the Veyrons had demons in them. They crused my legs leaving bloody stumps covered in blood. I had no choice but to kill them of by using, {insert over powered item here} and then they all blew up into gory piles of gore. BLOOD!!!! The blood started to drain from the room and I got of my bed. Craig fell to his knees. I was about to kill him, but out of no where, a skeleton popped out and finished him of for me. "Wow," I said," thanks Skeleton man." He smiled and said, " Your welcome, but I must go now, another bad pasta needs me to pop out of no where to totally scare people". He then floated of and no one ever mentioned this again. I hope you understand now that eBay is evil, and you should never use it to shop for used games because if you do, shit like this will happen, and that's no good. Goodbye.
BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!1!!! Skeletons.